Keeping those communication channels open
Sex is an important part of a healthy relationship. It helps you get to know each other physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It is especially important when trying to conceive. These can be stressful times, and strengthening your communication can only improve the relationship for more challenging times ahead when baby arrives.
First things first: Sex is not just for making babies
Sex is not just for making babies. Sex is for intimacy, pleasure, and connection. Above all else, sex is for fun! It can be a great stress reliever, too—and it’s good for your health! Try to focus on the fun part of sex through this time – don’t just try to have sex around ovulation.
Keeping open communication
In a romantic relationship where there is a significant age difference between partners, keeping open communication is critical. It's easy for younger people to feel like they're not being listened to or taken seriously by their older partners, which can lead to frustration and resentment down the road.
It's also crucial that one partner not work away from home too much because this limits opportunities for face-to-face conversation between partners; texting is fine as long as both parties are getting their needs met!
If there are things that one person wants from their partner sexually but doesn't feel comfortable asking for them directly, they might feel like they don't want to bring up the subject at all because they're worried about being rejected or judged negatively by their spouse or partner.
Communicate about Communication
A lot of couples say they communicate well, but never discuss how well they communicate, and whether they could communicate more effectively with each other. Discuss how you would like difficult or sensitive topics raise.
Work through the Past
It goes without saying that all relationships have some form of baggage due to past misunderstandings, guilting each other, shaming and/ or blaming. Forgiveness is important, even if you're not ready to do it. Try these steps towards reconciliation:
- Begin by acknowledging your feelings of anger and resentment toward the person.
- Take a few moments to sit with those feelings. You are not required to act on them immediately; this exercise is about giving yourself time and space for processing emotions that may be difficult for you. You may find comfort in writing about your experience with the person who hurt you during this time. If so, write down whatever comes up for you when thinking about them and what they did; it doesn't need to be perfect prose—just get whatever is inside out on paper (or into a text field).
- Once it feels like enough has been written down, take some time away from the document before reading back over what was written earlier in this step's process. Consider how much more settled those feelings feel now than they did before beginning this exercise; if necessary, reread through any older entries until they all seem less intense than they once were originally felt at the moment of their occurrence (this can take several minutes—try not rushing!).
Flirting with each other
Flirting is one of the most important ways to keep a relationship alive. Flirting is an easy way to say "I like you" without having to use words. It’s fun, playful and romantic. You might not have the same chemistry as when you were dating but that doesn't mean that there isn't still some sexual tension between you two!
In sex therapy, simmering is the slow tease to cause a build-up of sexual tension. Release of dopamine and testosterone that comes with fantasy and anticipation can also contribute to helping you conceive.
- Being affectionate with each other, including when others are around (this can be playful or serious depending on what time of day it is). For example if they're working at their desk while talking with someone else then lean over and give them a quick kiss before walking away - this shows confidence and shows that even though he/she has someone else around them still want their partner's attention!
- Being romantic later on in the evening after dinner maybe? Bring some wine into the living room and light some candles - make sure there's soft music playing too!
- Writing and leaving each other love notes
Tell them often how you feel attracted to them
You don't have to be explicit with every little detail (that can go a bit far), but it's helpful if you're able to articulate how much you like their style, sense of humor and such. This could be as simple as saying "I love your sense of humor" or "You look great today." Knowing that people find us attractive makes us feel good about ourselves and helps build our confidence in our romantic relationships as well.
Don’t go it alone
Communication is an important part of having a healthy relationship and allowing yourselves to be open with each other.If you want to start out slow, try a simmering approach. Spend some time fantasizing about what you want to do together as well as talking about fantasies that would make them more comfortable. If you are feeling nervous or anxious about having sex with each other again after an extended period without sex, then take some time to talk through your feelings together first before jumping into bed for intercourse. Do consider sex therapy if you have been struggling on your own for some time.