BB Sex and Relationships

How to keep sex enjoyable when trying to conceive

Sometimes trying to conceive can take away the joy of the spontaneity that makes sex exciting.

Dr Martha’s top tips:

1) Block out time for rest, for exercise, for connecting as a couple, and for sex. If we don't manage our time, time slips by easily.

2) Explore what is stressful in your life and see if there are ways to reorganise your life, or limit stressors as much as possible.

3) If your mind tends to take over meaning you tend to over-think everything, consider learning breathing and/ or relaxation techniques that will support you as a life skill. You can explore meditation, mindfulness and/ or yoga as well.

4) Beyond rest and stress reduction, how about some focus on what makes you happy, and buying/ doing them? Small things can enhance the quality of your life.

5) Play more! Come up with a sex bucket list - sexual activities that you have come across and would like to explore by yourself or with your partner. Life as you know will change a lot once baby arrives so make the most of this time.

6) In introducing variety into the bedroom, you can explore different sexual positions, role play (no need to dress up), dress up to get into character, and sex toys.

7) Be open to switching things up just so you can do things differently and see how that feels like. You never know if you like something better if you don't try it – shower sex, morning sex if you only always have night sex, sex in different locations in the house.

8) If you can afford the time and money for it, how about a sexcation – a getaway for sex? Being in places outside of home can inspire, can help one relax or be more playful, as well as can support romance.

9) Consider playing with the five senses: sight, scent, touch, hearing, taste. For instance you could dim the lights, put on music, use blindfolds, incorporate massage, or infuse the room with nice scents. The ideas are limitless! Have fun!

A note on foreplay

It’s been reported that women need 15 to 30 minutes of consistent stimulation before being able to attain an orgasm. Discuss what you like, look at each other with fresh lenses, let go of assumptions, and rediscover what each of you like.

In using lubricants, be sure to only look for fertility lubricants as they are specifically tested to ensure that the lubricant has a similar pH and viscosity as semen and fertile quality cervical fluid. This means that the lubricant provides a protective environment for sperm and will allow sperm to swim into and through the lubricant.