The Someday Dad: Why Male Fertility Deserves a Voice This Father’s Day

When it comes to fertility, the spotlight is often on women. Discussions around fertility health, IVF journeys, and emotional support tend to centre on the female experience, especially around Mother’s Day.

But on Father's Day, there is a noticeable silence. And for many men who are still trying to become fathers, that silence can feel particularly heavy.

Male Fertility Is Half the Equation

Research indicates that male factors account for approximately 40–50% of infertility cases worldwide. This encompasses low sperm count, poor sperm motility, and hormonal imbalances. In Singapore, while overall awareness is increasing, societal stigma prevents men from seeking timely help and may result in underdiagnosis in some instances. 

Other challenges in getting diagnosed.

• Fear of Diagnosis: The diagnosis itself can be anxiety-provoking, leading men to delay seeking help due to the fear of bad news or potential treatment complexities.
• Denial and Avoidance: Men might deny the possibility of infertility or avoid seeking help due to the stigma mentioned above.
• Lack of Awareness: Inadequate knowledge about male infertility and its causes can prevent men from realising they might need to be checked.
• Discomfort with Testing: The semen analysis, a primary diagnostic tool, can feel embarrassing or intrusive for some.

The Silent Role Men Play in Fertility Journeys

For many Singaporean men, their role in fertility treatment feels straightforward: provide a sample when needed, support their partner, and try to remain optimistic. But the emotional load they carry, though less openly discussed, is real.

Culturally, men are expected to stay strong and composed. There is often little space or encouragement to express uncertainty, frustration, or disappointment about fertility struggles. The assumption is that "being there" is enough.

Know that fertility affects couples as a unit. Even if men experience and express their emotions differently, it does not mean they are not impacted. And staying silent about it does not make the issue go away.

Simple Ways to Support the "Someday Dad"

For many men, becoming a father is just as meaningful as it is for their wives becoming mothers. However, Father’s Day can sometimes be a difficult reminder for those still waiting to become dads, an aspect that often goes unnoticed.

Whether you are a partner, friend, or family member, here are a few ways to be more mindful around Father's Day:

• Ask if he is okay with celebrations. Some men appreciate the normalcy, while others may prefer to skip gatherings that focus heavily on family and kids.
• Do not assume he is not affected. Even if he does not say much, fertility struggles can weigh heavily on men.
• Keep it simple. A quiet meal, a thoughtful gesture, or just spending time together can go a long way.
• Encourage health check-ups. Fertility is part of overall male health. Early testing makes a difference.

Continue the Conversation

Supporting male fertility does not require dramatic gestures. What is most important is creating space for men to be part of the fertility conversation, not just biologically but emotionally as well.

Remember that some men are still on the path to becoming fathers this Father's Day. Their experiences matter, and their roles in fertility journeys are important. And they should not have to navigate it in silence.